How to not let your emotions get the better of you?

I was thinking about how many times I'd take back a reaction that came from emotion instead of logic. How many times have I lost my cool over others ignorance, kids immaturity, police or political incompetence and driver irresponsibility? Why is it when frustration builds do we let our emotions get the better of us? I can't count how many times when I look back over how I would've done things differently, not let things get the better of me or let those know they got to me. Why do we waste the energy and brain power?

I'm no shrink and I've definitely improved over the years, however I wish I could get to the bottom of why controlling emotion is so difficult. I've learned tolerance over time, but really think I just hold in the emotion or push it to the side. I've prayed for patience, better understanding and control for many years. I don't want to become my parents. They react to everything emotionally ever since I was a child. What about being an example? I don't think that was ever one of their concerns as I was being yelled at, cursed at, slapped in the face or beaten. (they'd call it spanking) Everyone strives not to be their parents but about 5yrs ago I saw myself becoming my Dad when I lost my cool and slapped my son's cheek for yelling no in my face. I saw my eyes looking back at me as his cheek got red. I never cried so hard at the guilt I felt and the horror as I saw myself becoming my father. I walked away and once I stopped sobbing I asked for his forgiveness. I've never laid an angry hand on my son again! I may raise my voice in frustration at disobedience or bad behavior, nonetheless I really do try so hard not to let it get to that point. As I was watching Dr. Phil one day, they had a child expert on and what she said made so much sense. When all you do is yell and react emotionally to everything that upsets you, children will tune you out. However, try to just whisper! This not only makes you calmer, but the child will also strain to hear you. Then you have their attention when trying to discipline or teach them something. It's always easier to say then to do and therein lies my point.....to control emotion.

One of my greatest respected heroes is Cesar Milan and I've learned so much from him on an emotional and personal level even though what he teaches is in regards to dog training. Calm assertive is his motto, don't let them feed off your anger which is bad energy and something even "animals don't respect". Head up, shoulders back, believe in yourself and be the pack leader.

Yes I do learn things from the oddest of places to apply to my life but I find it most revealing and telling about how open-minded we truly can be if we want to. I watched the new movie Alice in Wonderland and in one of the last scenes of the movie, she is about to battle a large dragon (jabawoki for those who haven't seen it) and remembers what her father told her. Always believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast. So here is my impossible things list (for me):

• I will succeed at putting my emotions on a leash and be confident and calm, for I am an example to my son.
• I will have mercy even for those who do not deserve it.
• I can forgive those who are evil and have done me or others wrong.
• I will love myself and smile even when I don't feel loved.
• Self control over emotional eating can be obtained.
• Nothing will stop me to make time to excercise and lose the weight I desire.
  

So what is your list? Thanks for reading!

~Tina

Life/Death?

Well I'm new to this whole blogging thing, but figured I needed away to vent or express thoughts that bog up my head each day that I may not always feel able to share in person. God knows so many thoughts or ideas run through my brain each day that it gets backed-up regularly. LOL

I really was taken back by Corey Haim dying. I was so routing for the underdog to come out from under the rough patches in his life and be victorious. It's such a waste of a talented actor whose past abuse, health problems and anxiety opened up the doors for prescription addiction. It's during these times that you begin to reflect on your own mortality and the frailness of it. Of course it also makes you ponder your life and how you want your legacy to be portrayed as well.

I've always been afraid of death. I never ever had a positive experience with it. My mother is so ready to meet her maker that she remarks on it time and time again which rather disturbs me to no end. I've told her that repeatedly, nevertheless when situations get tough she reiterates on how she wishes the Lord would take her. I know I would be devastated if anything happened to any of my remaining family. So her lightheartedness really hurts me at times; to think it would be so easy for her to leave us all behind struggling and hurting with such loss.

My biggest fear has always been something happening to my son. I'm sure alot of mothers out there know what I'm talking about. It all starts at pregnancy; the bad dreams, the nightmares of something happening to your baby. It never stops for me. Granted the horrific nightmares slowed down and now that my son Aidan is 7 yrs old, perhaps it happens once a month. I've never really stopped being overprotective of my once preemie baby. I can't help but in this day and age to be OVER-SENSITIVE & CAREFUL. Especially when children can't even walk down to a neighbor's house without being abducted and/or killed. I won't ever, ever.. apologize for being so hands on and protective of Aidan. Though I'm one of those ppl who care way to much what others think, that is one trait that I'll be OKAY with!

Anyways this thought process all started with a tragedy that happened yesterday and my reaction caught others by surprise. This guy is an actor, you don't know him, you've never even met him. Here's my thought, I watched this boy grow into a man on the big screen. He was with me making me laugh or cry in my teenage years (Lost boys, Lucas). I had the biggest crush for years and when the local boys in my life were crappy he was the fantasy. I know no one's life is perfect and certainly his was not, but I was drawn to his charm and wit. I saw the reality show of the The Corey's and they let us into their daily struggle and everyday routines. I know realistically I did not "KNOW" him, but I felt I did. I wanted his story to have a happy ending. Someone who could come out of this terrible addiction and turn his life around. Robert Downey Jr. did it, why couldn't the others. We've lost to many talented people searching for peace, freedom, a way out, a temporary reprieve...whatever their reason for abusing drugs may have been. I was hoping this would not be his end as well.

The surprise death of Corey has definitely made me appreciate those around me. My husband, my son, my family and friends. Don't ever let the sun go down without telling those who are dear to you that you love them or go to bed angry. I'm thankful for everyday God gives me with others to share, to learn and even grow with and from.