I was thinking about how many times I'd take back a reaction that came from emotion instead of logic. How many times have I lost my cool over others ignorance, kids immaturity, police or political incompetence and driver irresponsibility? Why is it when frustration builds do we let our emotions get the better of us? I can't count how many times when I look back over how I would've done things differently, not let things get the better of me or let those know they got to me. Why do we waste the energy and brain power?
I'm no shrink and I've definitely improved over the years, however I wish I could get to the bottom of why controlling emotion is so difficult. I've learned tolerance over time, but really think I just hold in the emotion or push it to the side. I've prayed for patience, better understanding and control for many years. I don't want to become my parents. They react to everything emotionally ever since I was a child. What about being an example? I don't think that was ever one of their concerns as I was being yelled at, cursed at, slapped in the face or beaten. (they'd call it spanking) Everyone strives not to be their parents but about 5yrs ago I saw myself becoming my Dad when I lost my cool and slapped my son's cheek for yelling no in my face. I saw my eyes looking back at me as his cheek got red. I never cried so hard at the guilt I felt and the horror as I saw myself becoming my father. I walked away and once I stopped sobbing I asked for his forgiveness. I've never laid an angry hand on my son again! I may raise my voice in frustration at disobedience or bad behavior, nonetheless I really do try so hard not to let it get to that point. As I was watching Dr. Phil one day, they had a child expert on and what she said made so much sense. When all you do is yell and react emotionally to everything that upsets you, children will tune you out. However, try to just whisper! This not only makes you calmer, but the child will also strain to hear you. Then you have their attention when trying to discipline or teach them something. It's always easier to say then to do and therein lies my point.....to control emotion.
One of my greatest respected heroes is Cesar Milan and I've learned so much from him on an emotional and personal level even though what he teaches is in regards to dog training. Calm assertive is his motto, don't let them feed off your anger which is bad energy and something even "animals don't respect". Head up, shoulders back, believe in yourself and be the pack leader.
Yes I do learn things from the oddest of places to apply to my life but I find it most revealing and telling about how open-minded we truly can be if we want to. I watched the new movie Alice in Wonderland and in one of the last scenes of the movie, she is about to battle a large dragon (jabawoki for those who haven't seen it) and remembers what her father told her. Always believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast. So here is my impossible things list (for me):
- I will succeed at putting my emotions on a leash and be confident and calm, for I am an example to my son.
- I will have mercy even for those who do not deserve it.
- I can forgive those who are evil and have done me or others wrong.
- I will love myself and smile even when I don't feel loved.
- Self control over emotional eating can be obtained.
- Nothing will stop me to make time to excercise and lose the weight I desire.
So what is your list? Thanks for reading!
~Tina
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